Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Creating a Gap

The original title of this post was going to be, “Waiting for the Sabbys”
There were multiple little speed bumps for Ellie and I (mostly me) today. By the end of the day when I had to re-write my “green sheet” entering Haiti… Ellie said, “Mom, come on. Everyone else is done and over there waiting for us again!”


The little speed bumps felt like mountains to me all day. Totally small things, but they were piling up. And I struggled this week to feel like I wanted to go on this trip again.  In my mind I knew it would be right once I got here (I hoped) but getting ready felt hard, and the small travel-annoyances today capped it off. At one point I texted my prayer warriors back home saying, “I just want to come back home!” (that was right after a slightly turbulent take-off)


If you’ve never been on a mission or service trip, you might wonder…   Who goes on a trip like this? I did. Some people I knew who had gone talked about “always feeling called” to do something like it.  I never felt that. I don’t like to travel. Not really even for pleasure. I’m content at home. Where I have all my routines and supplies and things are predictable. So this trip (was last year) and is still this year a big act of obedience for me. I have to talk myself into it. “You can do this. God will meet you and give you the courage and the tools you need.”  It even appears easy for my 11 year old.  She’s excited and anxious to get here. Can’t wait to get started.  It’s hard for me.


Tonight at our group time, Karen referenced the idea that we need to “Create the Gap” (a message from ebc) We were talking about trusting God to supply what we need on a trip like this. And if we don’t step outside our comfort zone, or go without, we don’t create opportunity to see how God will provide. And it occurred to me…   that’s what I’m doing: creating a gap. And that’s what I’m struggling with: creating that gap.

I’m writing this for people out there who are thinking, “I could never do a trip like that…”   I want to tell you, “You could.”  Because I am not that brave. And earlier in the week I wanted to chicken out.  And today I wanted to go back to my comfortable routines (and products…)  But I am here now. And I have a wonderful sense of hope and peace for the week. And I love my team. And I love how God has met me here. And how I feel ready to go out tomorrow and serve. Creating a gap… I’m working on it. 


1 comment:

  1. Love your post Beth.....love the relationship you have with Christ. Privileged to call you my friend. Praying for you! TERRI

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